Wednesday 31 October 2012

The Day Before I Go...

I have planned a month long holiday! That's right, for a whole month I will be going somewhere else. Will I be taking the kids and my beloved wife? No. Will I be leaving soon? No, I'm not going anywhere. This isn't a trip to the far east, a safari in Africa or a road trip across North America. Nope. I'm going far further than that.

I'm heading into a book.

I've booked tickets and packed my bags, damn, I've had my jabs and I've even let a few friends know where I'm going. You know, to make sure they know where to look if it it all goes wrong...and even though I'm looking at a trip into unknown territory I still have a map! How fucked up is that?!

Let me say before I go though, this is no normal map. There are no roads marked, no beaches, no mountains, no streams and no rules. I can spend what I like, travel where I want, but still, even if the mountains look divine and the waterfalls breathtaking, if it's not in the plan or against the rules then I'm going to have to keep on driving past and remember to come back again another year. Did I say there were no rules? Yeah there aren't...and yet there are. Trouble is the only person who knows the rules is me, but I haven't told myself what they are yet. I get an envelope each day and that will open with haste and find perhaps what before me is difficult, beautiful, taxing, upsetting...I just wont know. Fucked up eh? Yeah.

For this month I'm going to have to do all the things I normally do and yet I will almost certainly be elsewhere while I'm doing them. I'll nod and engage in conversation and be right in front of whoever it is I should be giving my undivided to and yet somewhere in the back of my head I'll be swinging through a whole different life. Someone else's story that just happens to be sitting in my head.

I hope no-one disowns me or thinks I'm being rude. I hope they simply know where I am and nod and say 'Ok, fine, when you getting back?'

Here's the plan as I see it. Ready? Cool.

I'm heading into the Nanowrimo for the month of November and I'll be hitting it hard. 50,000 words in 31 days. My fool hardy aim is to strike 20,000 of those in the first ten days. I aim to sleep less, write more and be as present as I can be while trying to not disengage from what I'm writing.

I will be on twitter. I aim to be here on the blog with updates and perhaps the cheeky post if I can squeeze it in. Stick with me please and I hope that in less than a month I will have something...something that needs loving and time and cuddles and understanding. Something that I'll be trying to craft into a novel that's better than last years (hey, I liked last years).

Wish me luck? Thank you. I'm going to need it.


Monday 29 October 2012

Music Monday: Gamer

Its music Monday and I'm looking at giving you five tracks I have a great love for. This week I'll be opening the door very slightly and playing what I've played for my gaming groups and perhaps surprising you slightly...I hope.

As a role player and G.M (games master) I have a love for music that lends itself to high drama. I watch films and genuinely keep a clear ear on the soundtrack in the hope of finding something that I can buy to create mood and fill the session we play with a mood that allows the players to better play their characters.

Don't worry, tonight is not a instrumental movie night. Nope. For me, the really big moments are met with silence or sometimes a very carefully selected song. Something I connect an emotion with and try to channel that feeling into the room to create genuine drama and get real reactions from the guys and gals around the table.

Sometimes it really doesn't work. Here are five times that it did.

SAVE ME by Aimee Mann

The game was set in a future apocalyptic wasteland. Lots of vegetation and life by humanity was on the brink. I had a large group of players backed up by an expansive cast of support characters. A set of twins were separated and one was believed dead. The remaining character fought with depression and the players were very careful to keep a good eye on her.

I had the character commit suicide.

It was sad and we played the funeral. Genuinely sad feeling and something I'll strive for every single time; none combat based drama. The song made the scene.





ITS NOT DARK YET By Bob Dylan

Bob Dylan does it for me. I just love his music. So when I went looking for something for the end of a heavy session it was to him I went.

Same group, same characters and a similar feel, but on a much larger scale. The end of a large set piece battle, a battle which saw us wave goodbye to half the cast of the game itself. I cut away at least three support characters and it was clear to all that at least three players were dead.

It was a battle they narrowly won and certainly even more narrowly survived. When the dust had settled we said good bye to those characters to this song. It was a very strong moment to my mind. I hope the players look back and remember it as keenly as I do.

Magic.





THE FIRST TIME I EVER SAW YOUR FACE By Roberta Flack

I tasked my small team to start the session off each week. Give them the reins so to speak. Each player would have to give us the opening scene setter. It was on a subject that we'd agreed and they brought their own music.

Easy.

Not so easy when you're reading out something you've written, in character, in front of the team. Sometimes they weren't always in the mood, a danger that faces the G.M every week.

This particular week @mamacrow took a complicated relationship with a support character and produced some magic. The song started and she totally nailed it.

Amazing.

(by the way the song is fucking amazing too!)





SHUT UP AND LET ME GO By The Ting Tings.

The team have been captured. Two comedic super villains are monologuing, cutting into each others verbal 'gloat time', insisting they have equal amounts of rubbing the players noses in and arguing like a stereotypically grumpy old couple.

As they moan and bicker for several minutes the guys are laughing  (as was the point) and this comes on. Lots more laughs. A well pitched comedic turn augmented with the right song at the right time.




To finish we have the next song I'm going to use. I'm always trying to bring the game to the players in a fresh way. I've written a weekly paper (too much work), I currently record all of the game in two blogs (an in-game one with news articles to support the sessions and an out of game one to give them updates, let them know who's playing, when, where and I also to keep a record they can check of what happened in every session so they can follow plot strands and be better prepared for the actual sessions).

This year though I've worked with one of the players and produced trailers for the characters and upcoming events. It's taken hours of getting used to the tech but we have a pretty good understanding of what needs to happen, when and where and we put it together so the players can get an extra kick out of playing and maybe when its all done they can look back over the c.ds we give them.

A permanent record of the story and a reminder of how much fun we had.

Here it is. I'm looking forward to working with this one.


That's it. Normally I wouldn't talk about the role-playing I'm involved in. I tend to predict sniggering people that point and think it means we aren't cool, I can live with that, but we aren't freaks.

I think we challenge ourselves to have fun by telling stories and maybe that's a more traditional, instinctive thing to do for our species than sit and watch t.v, the same sort of thing but without the interaction part.

See you next week folks. Something super different then I think.

Thanks for reading and listening.

Monday 22 October 2012

Music Monday: Hated

This week on Music Monday we look for four tracks that make me reach for a hammer. I hate these songs for various reasons. If you love them, that really is great for you, but for me? No. They are huge no no's.

THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER By D-Ream

I hate this song. I hate it, hate it, hate it! Why? Well it was a song someone I used to date loved and I've never broken up with someone nicely. Its always been bitter and unpleasant but that's not the old reason I hate it.

When I hear this I can only think of Tony Blair. Blair and his time at the top. If it comes on the radio goes off. If someone were to put it on? I'm out the room.

Hate it.






AIN'T GOT NO, I GOT SOUL By Nina Simone

Yes, I know, it's a bouncy, feel good anthem for those that love life and I never said this was going to be fair...but this pisses me right off!

Why?

I can take your arms, I can take your legs, I can take your senses, soul, bus pass, freedom and smile. Someone could! There are people out there, evil bastards, lining up to take all that you have and the tragedy is they certainly can take all that away from you and more.

I know that's not in keeping with the spirit of the song but fuck it. My brain hears this and says 'Yes I can.'





COTTON EYE JOE By The Rednecks

Do you even need to ask?! It's...it's...it's fucking annoying!!! ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!





BLACKHEART By Stooshe

Why do I hate this song? Well, I suppose it's the casual acceptance of domestic violence and forgiveness of such actions. Am I too uptight? Do I have no sense of humour on this matter? Maybe.

To be honest I'm good with not having a sense of humour about it. This is a song I could happily cast into the abyss. I'd ban it if I had the power.





Finally I want to show we can all be together. If you love this list of songs above that's cool with me. I don't. So come on, lets get down to one I do love and forget all the hate above...though if you hate the one below I'm not sure this town is big enough for the both of us.





And as Bobby soothes you away we say goodbye. Next week will be a happy, friendly, music love in again.

Thanks for popping in.

Friday 19 October 2012

We Changed

So, lets get one thing straight; I don't go out a lot. Its not that I'm Agra phobic or anti social and I'm not talking about down the park. I'm talking down the pub.

I used to drink a regular amount, sometimes more than the regular amount maybe, but I was never an angry or regularly annoying drunk. No. I quit because I was happier when sobber, I came to hate the loss of control and lets face facts, I used to drink because I was shy around new people and I hated it.

Now I no longer need the crutch and you know that's great for me. Other people can drink and I'm cool with that too. You don't need the 'crutch' its just you like getting pissed. I get it. Its cool.

So there I went, heading to Brighton by way of car, zipping towards a night promising great music and laughter. Perhaps it wasn't always going to go that way for me but oh well. Screw it I went anyway. What could I do? It was my little brothers birthday.

We hit the bar (his local), a small corner pub built on its reputation for live music and to be honest you'd be hard pressed to swing a cat in the joint, and yet, it is a very friendly place. Picking up the first coke of the night the band were warming up and doing their sound checks in the corner and they were amazing, I've seen them before and they're top draw. The Mountain Firework Company. I've raved enough about them on twitter.

The band left to get a bite to eat and we checked out the reserved tables for us, yep, it was his birthday and so he had a whole corner of this local music Mecca all sewed up. Pretty neat huh? Well the many faces arrived and all started swinging and bang, in walks 'Sorry.'

If you read this blog regularly then maybe you recall the post? Well in she comes, looking healthy and its big smiles and to be honest, it was a bit weird. No, not romantically dangerous (obviously not) just weird. See, we were close and then not for many, many years and then she's right there and well, it was weird.

Moving on. I hit the back wall and got a seat and as people got hammered around me I waited for the gig to start. Now I am not an anti social person, but I wasn't drunk either and it became fairly clear I was a fifth wheel, perched against the wall, out of the action. I considered this as I sat not really mingling, waiting for the gig to start still and thought 'Why am I here?'

Simple answer, to show my face at my bro's birthday bash, bit more complicated answer? To hear the music, a band I love... and to show my face at my brother's bash. ;-) So was I that bothered if perhaps I wasn't the light and soul? Not really.

The gig started and the first act was just awesome! Brilliant! Small bar, big blue grass sound, magic. The intermission hit and the bar emptied and out they all piled to have a fag and a laugh and I joined them. All good. Still sorry and me are well and truly avoiding each other.

Second half the crowd got animated and led by my bro there was much dancing and falling about, which kind of killed the atmosphere of the small room band thing, but there ya go. It was his shin dig, the band was booked for him, go for it dude!

Come the end of the night we congratulated the super awesome band, mingled a bit and decided to head out fairly quickly. Driver (a great chap) went and got the car, I bumped into Sorry and we chatted for a brief time and it was time to go.

Now it was good to see her healthy and that in itself is something wonderful but it was clear I'd changed a fair deal and she was perhaps like her old self only with the volume turned up. We just didn't seem to be compatible any more.

That's not a sad thing you know. It's not. It's true that in life people change. Some folks say that people don't, but I think they do. Life changes you. Under your skin you learn and you become more comfortable, if you're lucky, and maybe sometimes it works the opposite way and you become more guarded because you've been kicked in the nuts too many times. But people do change.

So I had a good time. My Bro had a good time. Sorry had a good time.

Perhaps though this week has been spent reflecting on what 'those days' were like and whether I miss them? The clear answer is that I wouldn't go back and change them, but I'm glad they are gone.

I like 'me' a lot more nowadays.   

Monday 15 October 2012

Music Monday : History Ditties

Its Music Monday time and here we have five offerings that have a link to historical information or tell us a true story. Hopefully the link will work all the way through but we'll see how it goes.

Ready?

Lets begin.


OLIVER CROMWELL By Monty Python

This is a John Cleese special and its fabulously interesting as well as being brilliantly comedic. We got dates, events and bags of laughter. Enjoy.




THE HURRICANE By Bob Dylan

The story of Ruben Carter is well documented, certainly its very famous and its here for you in full on protest song mode. Carter was a middleweight boxer charged with a triple murder he didn't commit.

I'm happy to report he got out finally. I'm sorry to say it took some twenty odd years after he was found guilty. Its a harsh story and an amazing song...if you like Dylan.

P.S I love Bob Dylan's stuff. Just awesome!




SAILING TO PHILADELPHIA By Mark Knofler

I love this song, its gentle, calm and thoroughly relaxing and yet embodies the spirit of adventure that the song recounts. Knofler is a real master and this  is a great song, hell, its a great album.

Go buy it.





32 DOWN ON THE ROBERT MCKENSIE By Paul Gross

Paul Gross is the dude from Due South. Yup. Benton Fraser the Mountie. He also writes, directs and sings. Bastard.

Anyway, here's a song that is based on another song, that is based on a nautical accident that claimed the lives of the entire crew of a ship. Gross was going to use the original song for an Episode of Due South but thought it may upset the families of those that were lost...so he wrote this.

I hope I got that right otherwise I'm going to look like a right dumbass.




Final one comes from Horrible Histories this week and its probably my favourite. The kids love the show and so do we. This is something I sing around the house, to be honest they all are, but this one gets belted out with a bit of gusto!




Thanks for reading/listening and hope you drop back in next week for another five pics.

Be excellent to each other.

Monday 8 October 2012

Something Fun

I've run and played Role playing games for over twenty five years and I can feel the time I have to take part in them slipping away. With that bared in mind I approached the current game I'm running with a serious aim to impress and use everything we had to make it great.

Here is a use of technology and the internet to make your players feel special. We have cut several trailers for them now in this year but this is the main group trailer utilising vids from games and movies to try and give a feel for those characters. Its Marvel and its tough to find stuff that fits the way you want it to.

I think we did a good job.

Here is the main trailer, put together by myself and the tech guy on the team who put a lot of hours into making it look cool and grabbing some extra clips. Ta dude. Ya Awesome.
 

Music Monday : Alternative Madness

There are all different types of music for all different types of moods. Its true that it really is horses for courses and tonight's race is for some of the acts that I've heard and thought 'wow, that guy is nuts/brave/lucky to walk out of here alive'. Sadly I've not seen any of them live but I'd love too.

(Beware, this week may contain swearing and strong humour)

First up and its a man who loves controversy.


STRANGERS ON MY FLIGHT by Frank Sinazi

This guy is a Sinatra impersonator who rocks up as Adolf Hitler. Yeah. You read that right. Now before you scream 'Nazi!' at me just chill. I find Nazi's funny because if I didn't laugh, then I would be throwing cups and shouting about them. I laugh them off because its the way I live with the strength of my reaction towards them and their existence in general. I laugh at this guy because I think his dark comedic blend of Hitler and Sinatra is just right.

It works for me but I'm going to put up one of the lighter ones so that he doesn't hit you with the full force of his act, which to be honest is pretty strong.

Enjoy if possible, I think he's brilliant but I still can't work out how he came to the point where he decided this act was a 'good idea.'





GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS by Richard Cheese

A lounge singer that covers rock classics with his tongue rammed so far into his cheek that its bursting out of his flesh spraying the front row with blood. Cheese covers are inspired for the most part but again the humour is very strong. His cover of Nirvana's 'Rape Me' isn't going to win him friends but it is to here that we come...to get down with the sickness.

This is brilliant, every single damn second of it. Horrible and cheerful and brilliant.




THE MEDICAL LOVE SONG by Monty Python

There are many songs of note by the genius group of comedians  known as Monty Pythons Flying Circus, but if I have to pick one that makes me smile without ever letting me down it is the Medical love song.

Its clever, suprising, disgusting, laugh out loud funny and I love every damn second of it. From the very first line you know you are listening to 'the anti boyband' and you will never be the same again.




AMERICAN JEDI by Weird Al Yankovic

This has been heard by everyone, fucking everyone, but lets just say you have been living under the worlds biggest rock. I haven't the words to describe it other than Episode one meets Don McClaine.

Enjoy.





Its the great and terrible monster to finish it this week. I warn you...if you listen you will have it in you're ear for months.

Sorry.





This week I needed cheering up. Not sure its worked but if its done the trick for you then I'm a happy boy.

Feel the need to have a theme suggestion then just comment.

See you next monday.

Christmas Hat: A different way to play

Christmas is a busy time in our house and it could easily spiral into being financially crippling, but we decided last year to make the change. A change that worked out very well indeed.

Instead of each person buying everyone a present we decided to cut the amount of presents down by getting the kids to draw a name out of a suitably festive hat and they would only buy a present for that person. Simple right? Yeah, can't believe we didn't do it before to be honest.

Now this meant we were keeping the cost down, yes, but it also meant that they could spend slightly more on the person they were sorting to get a gift that they really wanted and this really opened things up. People were thinking of Boxsets for their older brothers (realistically only an upgrade in price of about five or ten pounds but a really difference maker), hats, boots and fluffy cats that walked for the girls. Personalised Lego kits! It was quite exciting.

I jump forward to Christmas morning after months of sneaking, hanging out on Amazon, wrapping presents, printing personal wrapping paper on the kitchen table and finding the perfect gifts. Each person knew they were getting at least two gifts and you'd think that would be a downer but instead there was excitement. Everyone had put real thought in and so were all excited to be GIVING the gifts more than getting.

With the presents being of a better, less random quality and slightly more expensive they were certainly more pleasing and with gifts from mum and dad out of the way the magic happened. With fewer things they actually played with everything they they got rather than leaving a heap of sad looking cool toys in the corner.

It was a move that paid of really well. We had a fabulous Christmas with gifts that were really appreciated. Its the way we are going this year too.

Names were drawn from the hat the other day and plans are already forming. I simply can't wait.

Sunday 7 October 2012

Pissed Off

I have found myself in an awkward situation and one that seems more difficult to shift than normal. I am officially in a mood, a downer, a negative place that chokes my usual free thought and chipper personality.

It's annoying. I figured I try to get this out and perhaps maybe, just maybe, it would make a difference within the principality of Edd. Ready? Here goes...

I'm pissed off that Sauraus is putting very little effort into his studies, making me feel like a failure as a parent which has the knock on effect of making me regret my own unfocused teens which I still feel impacts heavily on my inability to get a job. I also see that this drives me crazy and fear for his future brings me to a place of panic. Stupid. He isn't me. He does need to work but just because I was, and in many ways, still am a failure when it comes to employment it does not mean he will fall on the same sword.

I'm pissed off that someone unfollowed me. Someone I like and though I had reason to perhaps sever a link earlier I didn't because I considered them a friend. It may be that Twitter automatically unfollowed that tweep for me and so they did like wise and perhaps one tiny, tweet would bring that person back onto my list. But in the mood I'm in I just want to walk away and curse, so I have. Stupid.

I'm pissed off because I have lots to do. I have recreational writing and I have writing that will possibly open doors for me and I even have writing work that promises to PAY... and that should turn me into a dancing fool but instead I find myself feeling unworthy. I look at what I have typed and I delete. Delete because its not good enough. Delete because I'm not feeling it. Delete because it's got some errors that need work and I just want it to be perfect and I know its not and it never will be. Stupid.

I'm pissed off that it's coming up to another Christmas and I'm still an unemployed Muppet who's going to have to scrape around for present money. No, I don't want a fucking hand out. Yes, I would like a fucking job. Sadly the job I want is a writing job...but if you read above you can see how seriously stupid I am.

I'm pissed off that I hate Facebook and I have found myself falling less and less in love with Twitter. I see constant statements of hate all due to how someone voted, madness consuming whole groups of people turning them into pitchfork wielding nutters, intent on burning x amount of the population for having x view about x thing or x event. Where are the level views? Where's the idea of cutting someone a brake? Why the fuck don't I just 'man up' and cut some faces and feel the rage subside? I don't want to. I like these people. So WHY AM I FINDING IT SO ANNOYING?! Stupid.

I'm pissed off that I'm not watching the shows I want to watch, when I want to watch them and yet I'm the one not watching them! I'm annoyed that I can't find myself getting excited about Role Playing on a Tuesday night...and I run the damn thing! I'm Pissed off that me being pissed off seems to be a semi permanent state that does die down.

Looking at my life and I can't understand this idiotic funk. I have a wonderful wife, great, vibrant, mad kids, another child on the way that we will shower with love and a roof over my head. I'm about to have some work included in an on line magazine and it looks great and I've knocked up some really exciting support media. I've got some work that will pay me a damn check for words typed and I feel I'm close to the end of the final edit on last years novel. I even have everything lined up for the next one and a desire to write it.

I don't get it and the thing is I don't think anyone saying anything is going to make it better.

Am I overtired like perhaps a four year old is after a long day in the park? Am I just a fucking ingrate?!

I'm pissed off and I know why...and yet I also don't have a clue as to what's under my skin.

Maybe the sad truth is that I am just not hard working, committed or intelligent enough to do what I'd love to do and in coming to realise this I have found a black hole that is beginning to suck me in?

I have a busy week ahead of writing and socialising and that is what I will do. I'm going to try and get out of this but if I don't I may have to take a serious look at taking a serious brake from Twitter and this blog that I do really enjoy writing.

I'll see what the week brings...

Thanks for reading.

An Opportunity?

A few days ago I saw a tweet that was directed at me personally from an editor.It didn't tell people how jaw dropping I was/am at writing and it didn't tell people how bad I was. In reality there was no value judgement in my, or in any others work. It was in fact an invitation to take an opportunity. I can only hope that this tweet indicates that I have merit and that she thinks I could very well be worth investing time in. Lets hope so.

This is simple concept, so allow me to get straight to it. The editor in question (a lovely person I have had many excellent twitter exchanges with and have discussed via email my works need for professional editing) has launched a competition of sorts. One that I am very interested in winning.

The first person to bring her two people who will pay her for services of the editing or mentoring variety from her will have a 75% discount on her services. That's a great deal and a seriously cool opportunity, especially for those that don't have a lot of money and are still hanging out in unpublished purgatory.

I'd like that person to be me.

So here's the deal. If you are to engage someone in editing then have a look over on her website and pop in and say hello. Mention this blog and my name and chalk up a victory for me yeah? Think about it. If you come here regularly imagine the awesome feeling of clicking on a blog and thinking; 'You know, I think he's actually getting a lot better at this writing thing.'  Not only that but you engage a professional in a service that will benefit your own writing no end!

Its a good deal...if you have the money :-) So go on! Head to the link, find the website and maybe if you are going that way anyway mention the messenger. You'd be doing him a favour.

Thanks for reading.

Here it is..

Monday 1 October 2012

Music Monday ; Snapshots

Its music Monday and the theme this week is 'snapshots,' clear moments in time when music was playing. No, they aren't really the soundtracks of my life but will always bring me back to those times when I heard them and they sparked a certain reaction.

Lets get on with it shall we.


HIGHWAY TO HELL by AC/DC

It's the day after a mate of mine died and we are sitting in the pub, a collective of misery and shock. One of the lads pulls out some cash and heads to the duke box to try and make the difference. Two years later he was the best man at my wedding but in all reality he was the worst person to make that fateful walk.

He returns and his song selection hits hard, just so happens to be that the first two are songs many of us related directly to the deceased. He was blissfully unaware and looks awkward as many at the table fall apart a bit. 

In the brief silence between song selection number two; 'Hotel California' and number three we look at our pop picker dreading what was coming next. It started up, it took him several seconds to work out this was not the best thing to stick on, the look on his face and the blatantly poor selection brought us roaring into laughter.

I still smile when I hear it now. 





TRACKS OF MY TEARS by Smokey Robinson

I used to sing this, top of my voice, faulcetta, while staggering home from the pub. I loved the song and used to get some laughs for my painful rendition of a timeless classic. I did have a few good alternative lines, I was particularly proud of; 'if you see me with another girl, seeming like we're having fun, although she may be cute, she's just a prostitute, you're the permanent one.'

Realistically it was an early runner to X-Factor really; a talentless wanker staggers around murdering a song people love. I never got paid for it though. Cowell owes me money!





WOOHOO from The Kill Bill soundtrack

I was a stay at home dad at the time and working two cleaning jobs. I got up at 4.30 to get to work for 5. I'd finish at 7.30 and then rush home and try to have breakie with my wife and family. She'd leave for work, I'd do the twenty minute walk to school.

At that time Wig was a small baby, Roo was in nursery and Sauras was at the infants school on the same site. I had the school run to do three times a day, morning, lunchtime and afternoon. In between those times I did the housework, tidied, chilled with Wig and was trying to write a book (my first attempt and I didn't give up! Its a bit of a dog, but I didn't give up!).

Come the evening and my wife would return home, I'd try and smash some dinner down me and then  head out at 5 to do the other cleaning job till 7 30. I return around 7 45, 8ish utterly spent and then try and chill or maybe do some more writing.

Fatigue was my constant, monkey on back companion and it was tough but not enjoyable. To get us moving to and from school when all I wanted to do was die on the sofa we'd 'sing' (more chant) this on the way to and from school as 'Roo' is number twos nickname and 'RooHoo' fits nicely into this piece.

Its silly. Enjoy.





LOSE YOURSELF by Eminem

I've always been able to fuel myself into action through the right piece of music. When writing back when I first started I was sure I had something I wanted to say and that I could say it through the medium of word. I wanted to prove I could do it to myself and so I wrote but in truth I felt very much that I simply wasn't good enough and that it was indeed pointless to even try.

I'm not Hemingway and I never will be. I know now that if I can just be as good as I can be then maybe that in itself will be enough. As my writing starts to become the thing that I back as my profession I feel better, I feel like a person rightfully following a calling rather than a dude avoiding warehouse work.

I needed a pick me up on some days is what I'm saying really. This picked me up, smeared mud in my face and said 'Do it bitch!' I feel my teeth gritting just sticking it up here. Its a rallying call to arms, and words be my weapons.





This is the final one and its a goody. Its my wedding day and the church is full. The nerves are killing me and I know @mamacrow is outside, waiting to enter. We stand as she does, but she's not likely to walk down the aisle to something traditional. Nope. She likes to make an entrance.

As this boomed through the church my nerves slipped away.

Enjoy.





If you do have any suggestions as to a theme of the week then let me know.

That's it for this week. Thanks for reading and listening.